You’ll never know how nervous and anxious I was the first time I came out to the ranch. On the outside I may look like a long haired hippy or even one of Willie Nelson’s sons, so it may come as a shock to y’all but I was extremely uneasy walking up the hill. My impostor syndrome was flaring up and my inner monologue was saying things like, “Everyone will know you bought these boots and jeans off the internet” or “You’ve technically never even been to Texas because you drove through and Austin doesn’t count.” My experience interacting with folks at the ranch couldn’t be further from the scenario I concocted in my mind. The second time I came out to the ranch was for a roping clinic. I had never held a rope, much less thrown one. Even though I was so new the guys that had been coming out for a while treated me with the same respect as if I knew what I was doing and before too long we were bantering like we have known each other for years.
Each time I came out to the ranch thereafter my anxiety and impostor syndrome seemed to dissolve. The more I worked with the horses the more they taught me I belonged here and I had found my tribe. In addition, every session the horses seemed to be able to fix hidden internal wounds that I had been harboring for years and built defenses up. Week after week I would head back to San Diego a better person. I have never been surrounded by so many people committed to helping others. I will be eternally grateful to the other heroes, ranch hands, wranglers and most importantly the donors to this incredible organization that allows for this space of healing, helping and empowering to exist.